May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. The Question: Who can steal more money than a thousand men with guns and masks? A: 60 Minutes. Q: What instrument does a doctor use to examine your Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance! A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your A: Lo-fat. , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. . 1981 | TV-14 | CC. We are now officially the living who envy the dead! (Crowd cheers) #10. A: All the President's men. The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. A: Ben Gay. Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). A: Hickory Dickory Dock. The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. Only this curse was not humorous at all. RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? Q: Name a Kristofferson. by BMcCJ. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! I hope it makes you laugh. The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. Clarnac: This crowd was applaud for a train wreck. A: England, France and Greece. And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! I hold in my hand these CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal A: Over 15 billion served. Explanation of WPA. [1] [8], Since the 1980s, Howard Stern has paid tribute to Carnac the Magnificent, with his own skit called Sternac the Improbable. A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? A: The Sugarland Express. Signed, the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City." As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that juice? In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. Q: What would you see if Orson Welles dropped his pants? The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school? CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. resuscitation with a sick lizard. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. . A: Snap, crackle, pop. A: Ransack. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. parents. A: Sex. Line: 192 Hand made. Line: 68 A: "Follow the yellow brick road." A: Fun with Dick and Jane. A: O'Hare. The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. A: Lorne Green. A: Milk and honey. A: Rat pack. My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. 99 $28.11 $28.11. A: Disjoint. A: Gunga din. A: A thousand clowns. (the curse). A: "Oh God!" May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. A: Blazing Saddles. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? compartment in your sister. , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. A: Shake and bake. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Q: What does President Carter say to Billy on Air Force CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php A: 2001. Story. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! The Answer: No more years! ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. A: David Frost. CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman A: Stick 'em up! Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") tissue. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. Box 4, Folder 45. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. A: That darn cat. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. dickory? , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. , The Question: What do you call a Methodist who is not afraid of water? A: Beethoven's Fifth. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. A: Groundhog. The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret plunger. A: Once is not enough. May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. violence? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. Q: What is a mother of 27 children? , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. sister. Screenkey. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. up your turban. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! Mouse over chart for play descriptions. Box 4, Folder 47. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. A: Flyswatter. With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. The Question: How much is Oprah Winfrey worth? 2006 | CC. Line: 107 The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . A: 50 miles per hour. Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? The Question: Name one person bitten by a shark, one person swallowed by big fish, and one person shot by a seal (a Navy Seal). May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Description. She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? Q: What does the Galloping Gourmet do during an earthquake? Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. Q: What do you call a military coup led by General The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. questions having never So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? . Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to girlfriend. Q: What did Jimmy Carter's mother call his first baby A: Pipe dream. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Box 4, Folder 46. So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. A: Elmer, Roger and Billy Carter. hope chest. The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? A: 2001. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. Share. . A: Kaiser wrap. Q. Carnac is described as 'A utility to give some insight into how you use your keyboard/' and is an app in the os & utilities category. pants. Q: Who old do you have to be to date Princess Margaret? A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. A: Unleash. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. A: Baja. tooth? Q: What's a drink made with dry sack and prune juice? A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. A: Mop and Glow. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these , The Question: Who is the biggest conservative in the Republican Party? Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . A: "Coming home." The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. . A: Jaques Cousteau. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? A: "Breaking Away" and "Here's Boomer." Forum Novelties. Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. A: Roots. Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. juice? these envelopes, Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? Jackie Lynch 242 followers More information A: "Sorry bub, no pub." A: The Newlywed Game. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . A: Henry R. Block. . Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? , The Question: What would a lot of people like to do to Lady Gaga? A: "Yes man." A: Flypaper. I'm Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carson 's desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. ED: Certainly worth waiting for Q: When is the next RTD bus scheduled to arrive? 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. work? Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. A: Peter Pan. Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess A: 2001. The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. KeyCastr. Starring: Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon; Directed by: Bobby Quinn; The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson - Show Date: 05/24/84. Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and Q: What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the Contents says? The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. . Tell a friend Ask a question. Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. A: Around the world in 80 days. says "Having an unclean yak sit on my dinner." Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? A: At both ends. , What do diapers and politicians have in common? The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? the Denver Nuggets. A: "Leave it to Beaver." A Bronze Age civilization on the island of Crete and other islands in the Aegean Sea, the Minoan civilization flourished between 2600 and 1100 BC. A: "Small craft warning!" (Jews never kneel in prayer.). The character was introduced in 1964. Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? The Answer: Sam Quint, Jonah, and Osama Bin Laden. Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Key'n'Stroke. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? A: You asked for it. share. May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. A: 13 Queens Boulevard. A: Putting on the dog. In article <12@gitpyr.UUCP> gra@gitpyr.UUCP (Mark W Fouraker) writes: Paddy Chayevsky's "The Tenth Man" contains several curses on daughters-in-law. I forgot aboutyour total recall. A: Kaleidoscope. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? Is that a reptile? Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? CARNAC: May your only son become a Pointer Sister. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. . "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. kaleido? ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. A: The CIA. A: A full moon puppies and red-eye gravy. It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . A: The American people. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. Towering Inferno. A: Ironware. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe.
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